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Around the next corner

Hello lovely readers,
I was so excited at the beginning of 2018 to be back to blogging regularly here at The Unlaced Librarian. Though my focus has shifted to writing projects outside of blogging, my goal was to post blogs every week in 2018 before delving primarily into other projects. But I have realized I need to stop lying to myself, acknowledge that it is definitely time to make those projects my primary focus, and let my blog evolve along with my work.
The Unlaced Librarian isn't going anywhere. I won't be posting as often, but I'll still be here, updating and posting. Going forward, I plan to post mostly informative posts and less personal ones. I've found that I'm still learning and growing. As soon as I say something I believe to be true about myself or the world, something happens and I change my mind. Plus, I've gotten old enough that I've really run out of enthusiasm for writing assertive, mic-drop-at-the-end, click-baity posts that rule the inter…
Recent posts

Happy Masturbation Month 2018!

It's MASTURBATION MONTH, lovely readers. I'm so very excited because masturbation is one of my most cherished sexual outlets. Unfortunately, I didn't always have such a good relationship with masturbation. I saw it as something shameful, as something "less" than other sexual outlets, and the subjects of my sexual fantasies often left me confused or once again, ashamed.

Examining sexual fantasy, learning about my body, and understanding more about how erotic media is produced were all processes I had to work through to have a better sex life and to enjoy all my sexual outlets. Which is why I still work to promote great non-fiction sexuality books and sex-ed resources as much as I can.

But for today, I want to offer some further reading for masturbation specifically.

As a person who can think myself off, I rely on sexual fantasy and erotic media like erotica and porn to masturbate and own relatively few sex toys. But that's all right! Part of my message about …

Excerpts from "Cast From the Earth" a polyamorous romance

I had so much fun sharing inspiration photos and excerpts from my novel Booked that I wanted to do one for Cast From the Earth, my polyamorous romance with zombies set in the 1890's. This book features a F/F and M/M/F pairing and lots of fighting... for love ;) Check out some snippets below!


Dust billowed up as the wagon ambled down a worn dirt road reserved for indigents and invalids. Curled in the back of the wagon clutching her satchel, Cordelia was certain she was neither. She had been offering a perfectly legitimate trade on that street corner back in town. Yet someone still turned her in for begging in public.

Cordelia found herself with no means to pay for a room at the boardinghouse and not a single establishment in White Spring would let her wash dishes or sweep floors for even one day.

Without any further discussion, Cordelia was shoved into the back of a wagon to be hauled off to the Clay County poor farm.

There had been a brief exchange in which the man entrusted with…

Let's Talk About Porn!

I could probably say this about any given week, but there has been another anti-porn wave rolling across my social media, so I decided to consolidate all the offerings I have from The Unlaced Librarian about pornography. I hope some of these resources will help some start or deepen their conversations about porn and the role it plays in their lives and relationships.
Blog Posts
Ways Porn Has Helped My Life
10 Reasons I Include Porn in My Marriage
Pornography: Not just a religious issue
Why I Defend Pornography

In the above video, I discuss how I went from having an anti-porn view to being a pro-porn advocate.

Book Reviews Book reviews I have done here at The Unlaced Librarian that talk about porn.

Coming Out Like a Porn Star edited by Jiz Lee 
Ethical Porn For Dicks by Dr. David Ley
DIY Porn Handbook: a how-to guide to documenting our own sexual revolution by Madison Young
Love and Pornography by Victoria and Garry Prater 

Exposure: A sociologist explores sex, society, and adult entertainm…

5 Frustrating Phrases in the Free Speech Debate

My flame of passion for intellectual freedom has never gone out, but being employed at a library again after an absence has certainly turned up the heat. And there has been a volcanic eruption this week in topics pertaining to censorship and intellectual freedom so I decided I would finally write and share this post that I’ve been meaning to do for some time now.

The following five phrases are ones that people have said to me in various debates around censorship and they are phrases that I’ve seen cycle over and over on social media. I’d like to remind everyone that censorship is an incredibly complex and vast topic and not all my specific examples will fit in every situation, but I’m doing my best to convey why I find these phrasings so frustrating and ultimately short-sighted. I also live and work in the sex positive community, so matters of sexuality and censorship is the area I’ve had the most experience with. If you’re a new reader hello, I’m Leandra, I write about sex and I’m a p…

I Write Erotica

“I write erotica.”
It took me a long time to say this with confidence rather than trepidation.
Living in a small Midwestern town, I never really know how someone is going to react when the topic of sex pops up, even fictional sex in books. Some people become ecstatic and chew my ear off for an hour because they so rarely find anyone else that enjoys reading smut. Other times I get a panicked lecture about how pornography is ruining marriages or how some aspect of sex/sexual expression will end up being the downfall of civilized society.
You know, it’s a mixed bag.
Most often, the reactions are much less dramatic. It’s either “Oh, cool” or “Oh, well, let’s talk about something else.” Which is perfectly fine.
Quite honestly, I’m not afraid of conflict or confrontation. I’d rather know where someone’s thoughts and beliefs are rather than covering them up with half-truths or silence. And since I’m a weird sex radical with both liberal and conservative views I’m fairly practiced at holdin…

Sex, Labels, and Cataloging

I've been thinking about labels a lot lately. Mainly because my muse has refused to let me write anything but multiple partnered stories and I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to market my next short story collection when the time comes to publish it. The book is erotic romance, yes, but the multi-partner thing is still not really a given—most readers expect a pairing.
I could just go on to say the stories feature multiple partners, but that doesn't really solve my problems. Because for many readers, there is a major difference between reading a M/F/M, F/M/F, M/M/M or a F/F/F story. And since all the stories I've drafted so far are a combination of M/F partners (F/F/M and M/M/F mostly) I pretty much cut out readers who are ONLY interested in hetero pairings or ONLY interested in same-sex pairings.
Perhaps, then, do I bust out my good old Bisexual label and say I write multi-partnered Bisexual erotic romance? Well, that would be nice, except in one of my stories a…