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Showing posts from June, 2014

7 Tips for "Thinking Yourself Off"

To make an already long post a bit shorter, I’ll just start by saying: I can think myself off. I started doing this when I began fantasizing, around age 12 or 13. I was actually a sophomore in high school when I learned that masturbation typically involves touching yourself. I had no idea. For me, orgasm was more intense if I didn’t move at all whilst partaking in my “mind trick,” so I never even tried masturbating with touch until I was in college. While I’m not a sex therapist or biologist, I have been thinking myself off for a long time and have a bit of expertise. Everyone is different, and this is certainly coming from my view as a bisexual female. But here are 7 things I would tell people who would like to explore the possibility of “psycholagny” or “thinking themselves off” via fantasy or sexual energy alone and no physical/genital stimulation. 

1. Give yourself some space.
Most people want to think themselves off in order to have orgasms all the time, randomly, in front of ot…

"A Bloom In Cursive" 10 Erotic Stories by Leandra Vane

A Bloom in Cursive is deep, secret pleasure with all the thoughts that scratch and scar the surface. Ten stories of literary erotica bring together unique characters in unlikely places. Lora has never been in an adult book store. Elsie craves revenge. Carolyn wants to be seen for who she is on the inside. Victoria takes a chance to spice up history. Liesl needs to make some new memories. From a rundown Chinese joint to a flower shop, from a nature museum to a hardware store, the scenarios in this collection are what happen when everything you want blossoms into life.

The book is available in print and for the Kindle. You can also find the book (and me!) on goodreads.

I Have a Fetish… Now What? How I Learned to Live With and Love My Fetishes

One of the hardest things I found coming to terms with my sexuality was the fact that I have fetishes. There are certain things that, no matter what, just make me hot. They are magical and I had no idea why these things had an effect on me when I was growing up and entering young adulthood. I was ashamed and embarrassed about this for years and wished they would just go away. I think fetishes are particularly problematic because no one ever discusses porn viewing and people would be even more ashamed if someone stumbled upon their browsing history that included spanking videos, feet, panties, urine play, leg braces, needles, diapers, or any other number of things. There’s a kind of sentiment we hold inside that believes, “Everyone is interested in sex, that’s normal. I’m interested in >insert fetish< and that’s not normal.” Here are ten things I had to do in order to integrate my fetishes into my sexual identity.

1. Acknowledge that the fetish does not control you.
I had to rea…

7 Ways My Disability Makes My Sexuality Awesome

Being born with a physical disability made many aspects of my life more difficult, and sex was no exception. However, there are many aspects of my sexual identity that were forged directly from my experience as a disabled woman. Everyone’s different, but here are 7 aspects of my sex life I really appreciate, even though they have been directly influenced by my disability.

1. Sensation play is pretty amazing. Since I have nerve damage there are plenty of places I can’t feel. But when I play with certain toys (vibrators, electric wands) on places I can feel, I often have sensations in places I can’t feel. These sensations only happen during sexual play, and I’m not entirely sure why. So I am always learning new things about my body. I never know when sexual play might trigger a thrilling discovery or new sensation.

2. I know elbows are sexy, too. Since parts of my body that aren’t typically “sexual” feel good on me, I often focus on different parts of my partners. I’ve constantly been …