Skip to main content

Book Review: The New Topping Book

Last week, I reviewed The New Bottoming Book, and this week I’m following up with the companion title, The New Topping Book (Greenery Press, 2003) by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
Just like The New Bottoming Book, you don’t have to be a top to enjoy and gain a lot of insight and information from The New Topping Book. Both are excellent staples to have in your BDSM collection, and I most definitely recommend these titles to those who are curious about or just beginning to experiment with aspects of Power Exchange.
The New Topping Book is slightly longer than the New Topping Book. The biggest difference in The New Topping Book is the inclusion of interludes between some of the chapters. In these interludes, a scene that the author’s or one of the author’s friends experienced is written out like a short story. These interludes illustrate with words how a scene flows from beginning to end and how the top interacts with the bottom, including things like safety, consent, and keeping the scene on track.

I feel like I learned more from reading The New Topping Book, perhaps because I have already read more and experienced more scenes on the bottoming side. But since a lot of the responsibility and directing of scenes falls on the part of the top, there were more tips and advice that I was able to glean from reading this book. Even though bottoms are very much an active participant in Power Exchange scenes as far as energy exchanging, consent, negotiation, and getting/giving pleasure, the top serves sort of as both the stage manager and the director of the scene, making sure implements go where they need to, that they are being used properly, and that the scene ends on time when everyone has reached the point that the scene can come to a satisfying close.

The book also discusses the needs and desires of the top, and emphasizes that tops should get what they need out of a scene including safety and not overstepping their own limits. The book also dissects some of the psychological hang-ups one might have of being a top and emphasizes negotiation and safety. There are also chapters about constructing scenes and how to pace yourself when using implements on your partners.

Overall, I love both of these books and enthusiastically recommend them when people begin having conversations about Power Exchange with themselves or their partner/s. This book gives a great foundation for being a confident, giving, and observant top.

Happy topping!



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Excerpts from "Cast From the Earth" a polyamorous romance

I had so much fun sharing inspiration photos and excerpts from my novel Booked that I wanted to do one for Cast From the Earth, my polyamorous romance with zombies set in the 1890's. This book features a F/F and M/M/F pairing and lots of fighting... for love ;) Check out some snippets below!

*

Dust billowed up as the wagon ambled down a worn dirt road reserved for indigents and invalids. Curled in the back of the wagon clutching her satchel, Cordelia was certain she was neither. She had been offering a perfectly legitimate trade on that street corner back in town. Yet someone still turned her in for begging in public.

Cordelia found herself with no means to pay for a room at the boardinghouse and not a single establishment in White Spring would let her wash dishes or sweep floors for even one day.

Without any further discussion, Cordelia was shoved into the back of a wagon to be hauled off to the Clay County poor farm.

There had been a brief exchange in which the man entrusted with…

Ways Porn Has Helped My Life

Earlier this week @KelseyObsession on Twittier (SexuallyAwkward.com) posted a poll asking if porn has helped people’s lives, hurt people’s lives, or been a neutral force. I answered that porn has helped my life... because it has!
I see the sentence “porn ruined my life” so often but I can honestly say that in many ways porn saved my life. (It’s a bit too click baity even for me to use as a headline, but it doesn’t make it any less true). On top of that, there has been another anti-porn wave on social media lately, so I thought I would go ahead and dedicate a post to the ways porn has helped my life.
First things first. When I write about porn, I usually get a lot of the same questions so I’ll just preface by answering those questions now: 1. No, I don’t work in the adult industry. Aside from one erotica story I wrote being published in an alternative porn magazine and a few erotic photoshoots that have never been published except as cropped header images for my blog posts, I’ve never be…

Happy Masturbation Month 2018!

It's MASTURBATION MONTH, lovely readers. I'm so very excited because masturbation is one of my most cherished sexual outlets. Unfortunately, I didn't always have such a good relationship with masturbation. I saw it as something shameful, as something "less" than other sexual outlets, and the subjects of my sexual fantasies often left me confused or once again, ashamed.

Examining sexual fantasy, learning about my body, and understanding more about how erotic media is produced were all processes I had to work through to have a better sex life and to enjoy all my sexual outlets. Which is why I still work to promote great non-fiction sexuality books and sex-ed resources as much as I can.

But for today, I want to offer some further reading for masturbation specifically.

As a person who can think myself off, I rely on sexual fantasy and erotic media like erotica and porn to masturbate and own relatively few sex toys. But that's all right! Part of my message about …