Skip to main content

Book Review: When Someone You Love is Polyamorous

"When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People andRelationships" by Elisabeth Sheff  is a great little book created for family and friends of people in polyamorous relationships. The book was published in 2016 by Thorntree Press.

When someone comes out as being polyamorous or in a multi-partner relationship, those close to them are often worried, overwhelmed, and bogged down by a lot of misconceptions surrounding open relationships. This book aims to soothe these worries, correct harmful stereotypes, and give some concise, compassionate information to make the conversations a little less overwhelming.

The book is 41 pages long and in the text the author refers to the book as a pamphlet. The size of the book does not bother me. I think it is difficult to hand someone who is not personally interested in being in an open relationship a 400 page book about ethical non-monogamy. The condensed nature of this book is a great place to begin a conversation and give friends or family a manageable amount of information to contemplate. With a glossary and resources section at the end, the book is well organized and easy to navigate.

I feel this book gives a very balanced overview of polyamory. While the author definitely focuses on the good things in poly relationships, she also includes reasons people do not continue in poly relationships, why polyamory might not work for some, and highlights the work and effort needed to make polyamory work well. 

The author also states in the beginning of the book that she herself is monogamous, but she has been studying and writing about polyamorous relationships for many years. I think this really makes the book relatable to the target audience and gives everyone – monogamous and open alike – a chance to have a meaningful conversation about different types of relationships.

I would definitely recommend this book to loved ones of those in polyamorous relationships. It is a wonderful supplement to the many conversations I hope people are beginning to have about different kinds of relationships. 


Popular posts from this blog

Book Review: The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

I must confess that I become quite melancholy this time of year because I dreadfully miss going "back to school." But this time around, I almost felt like I was back in school because I had this book. Mistress Lorelei Powers has such a wonderfully authoritative and insightful voice with just enough snark, charm, and wit. I truly felt as though I were her pupil completing some very important homework as I studied this text.

Though I am involved in BDSM on some levels my interests rest mostly in fetishes rather than power exchange. So I admit that I consumed this book as a reader just as much as I did a sex blogger. And the experience was delightful.

This book is the perfect length and quite reader friendly. There is a lot of information packed into this manual, but it is enjoyable to peruse a second or third time and great to have as a reference.

The first part of the book addresses many concepts and issues in female dominance. What if you are reluctant to take the dominant…

Ways Porn Has Helped My Life

Earlier this week @KelseyObsession on Twittier ( posted a poll asking if porn has helped people’s lives, hurt people’s lives, or been a neutral force. I answered that porn has helped my life... because it has!
I see the sentence “porn ruined my life” so often but I can honestly say that in many ways porn saved my life. (It’s a bit too click baity even for me to use as a headline, but it doesn’t make it any less true). On top of that, there has been another anti-porn wave on social media lately, so I thought I would go ahead and dedicate a post to the ways porn has helped my life.
First things first. When I write about porn, I usually get a lot of the same questions so I’ll just preface by answering those questions now: 1. No, I don’t work in the adult industry. Aside from one erotica story I wrote being published in an alternative porn magazine and a few erotic photoshoots that have never been published except as cropped header images for my blog posts, I’ve never be…

10 Reasons I Include Porn in My Marriage

Type “porn” and “marriage” in Google and a myriad of articles appear fretting about how porn is utterly ruining marriage. A fairly representative post can be found here. If that one's not scathing enough, read this one.  I personally used to have lots of issues with porn. But now I’m a pro-porn advocate and I believe people can make porn a healthy part of a balanced sexuality and even, yes, marriage. Below are ten reasons I intentionally include porn in mine.
1.Strengthen trust with honesty and shared vulnerability

Because we are open about the role porn (and erotica) plays for us individually and in our marriage, we can tell each other truthfully when something we see turns us on, when we want to try something we’ve seen, when we are in the mood to watch something, or any number of other things. We don’t have to worry about lying or sugar coating the truth about our desires, and that honesty means we trust each other with the information. And the truth is, hearing, “Wow, that woman…