Monday, June 27, 2016

Let's talk about porn!


All right, everyone, I'm working on deadlines and other general life things so I'll get right to the point with this one. We need to talk about porn. I believe that pornography and erotica can play a healthy role in sexuality whether you are single or have a relationship/s. But there's a lot going on when it comes to porn. Porn blurs the rigid lines of monogamy. Porn showcases insecurities about how our bodies look or how we "perform" sexually, provoking feelings of jealousy or of not being good enough. Porn has been ruled "obscene," base, and immoral by both religious teachings and secular society. A lot people believe it is wrong to watch porn when you are in a relationship and that if you view it when you are single you should still be ashamed because it is "less than" partnered sex. Not to mention the huge controversies that surround sex work are also at play in pornography. That's a lot, and I've barely scratched the surface. So if you're feeling conflicted, upset, jealous, angry, ashamed, or generally not good about porn, well, I don't blame you. I used to feel all these things about porn, both when I viewed it as a single person and also in my primary relationship.

I can't confront all of these things in a blog post, but I can give you some places to begin untangling all these feelings about porn.

First off, check out this video I made where I talk about my own personal journey from hating porn to being a pro-porn advocate. My story won't resonate with everyone, but I put it out there because I want more of us to be able to talk about porn and how we feel about it.

Next, I really like this video discussing "porn panic" from The James and Heather Show with guest Dr. David Ley. You can also check out Dr. Ley's book The Myth of Sex Addiction or pre-order Ethical Porn For Dicks.

Next, check out this Reddit Ask Me Anything about Masturbation from Sex Therapist Heather Brewer. Sure the topic is masturbation, but porn is closely associated to this topic and there are many different aspects that might help in conversations about pornography viewing.

Another video that is not specifically about porn but is closely related to some aspects of porn is this video from Rev Bev discussing self pleasure:

And here's a video about where you might look to find ethical pornography:


Finally, below are some popular blog posts I've done on the topic of pornography. (Spoiler alert, most are book reviews!)

Book Review: Love and Pornography

Book Review: Coming Out Like a Porn Star

Ten Reasons I Include Porn in My Marriage

Book Review: The Feminist Porn Book

Book Review: Making Peace with Porn 

Book Review: Pornland

Book Review: Exposure: A Sociologist Explores Sex, Society, and Adult Entertainment

My YouTube Series Unlacing Pornography playlist

I will definitely be writing about this topic more in the future, so stay tuned. And if you have any resources you want to share on this topic please let me know!

2 comments:

  1. I have very mixed opinions on porn. On the one hand, I loathe how it objectifies women. It is beyond terrible in that regard. But on the other hand, everyone involved are consenting adults so I have a hard time wanting to ban it. I am conflicted. Very interesting post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that there is tons of porn that objectify women but I like to give my focus to some amazing women porn directors and writers - my favorites are Erika Lust, Tristan Taormino, Jacky St. James, Pandora Blake, and everyone at The Crash Pad series. Thanks for reading!

      Delete