Monday, November 16, 2015

What Writing a Sex Memoir is Like in 28 GIF's

1. You finally decide to write it, and nothing will stop you now.

2. Things start out well enough.

3. But then you realize you're writing a sex memoir.

4. But you stand up for your work and keep going.

5. You give that manuscript everything you have to give.

6. But reality soon sets in as people begin to ask you what you’ve been working on lately and you have to decide if you should say something about body acceptance or just vaguely mention sociology.

6. Then halfway through, you realize that most of the manuscript is just personal grudges not worthy of publication and you have to face the facts and start over.


7. This takes some time and tea to cope with....

8. ... but eventually you find your groove and things improve.

9. Your manuscript is starting to look like it will be a real live book!

10. So, you “accidentally” post a Sex Out Loud episode to your vanilla facebook and gauge reactions.

9. The reactions aren't really that great.

10. You start fearing your book marketing plan will look something like this:

11. But it's too late to go back. You carry on.

12. Just in time to cut half your manuscript and work on rewrites.

11. You take a break....

12. And get back to work.

13. You finish a full draft.

14. But then you remember editing.

15. This quickly becomes overwhelming and annoying.

16. Finally you just take a “mental health” day off your day job to do edits but things end badly.

17. Things begin to look up as all the chapters fall into order. You are enchanted because the contents page is like a set list for an album. Your album. Your sex album.

18. Waiting for the proof to arrive.
19. The proof arrives and the inevitable takes place.
20. But you manage to talk it out.
21. Back to business, you bury yourself in edits and go for the next proof. You got this.

22. “What exactly is it you’re writing again?”

23. Proof arrives, everything is awesome, publication! You take a moment.

24. But then you realize the time has come and you have to tell people you know.

25. You start practicing telling the world at large you have authored a sex memoir.

26. Eventually you get the hang of it.

27. What you think coming out as a sex writer is like....

...what it's really like.

28. So, you forget everything and start working on that book about porn you've been meaning to get to.


1 comment:

  1. This is so totally cool. May overwhelming sales be in your future.