Monday, February 2, 2015

Book Review: Playing with Taboo by Mollena Williams

Bodily fluids. Religion. Race. Bestiality. Sexual relations with your relations. None of these things are “supposed” to be erotic. But in the maze of the human mind, many taboo topics are the center focus of fantasies and can be negotiated into planned BDSM scenes.

But having taboo fantasies can be overwhelming enough, let alone incorporating such fantasies into erotic role play or sexual repertoire. While it is not impossible, much needs to be considered to have a safe, satisfying, and enriching experience.

Which is why I am so happy to have Mollena Williams’ book, “Playing with Taboo.” The book is a “Toy Bag Guide” published by Greenery Press.

The author had no easy task confronting these taboo topics.  When even common sex acts are shamed by the mainstream, harboring a taboo fantasy can feel toxic to one’s mental, emotional, and sexual health. Embracing these parts of ourselves can be extremely difficult. So, I was more than happy that the first few chapters explore the reasons why we are drawn to taboo topics and dissects the complicated structure of shame in sexuality. She also encourages readers to explore their intent and motivations of exploring these taboo topics. They are important, and the truth is you might not be ready to explore these fantasies in the ways you want just yet.

I thought the author had a strong voice throughout and was very down to earth. The author’s personal background in exploring race play, a deeply sensitive and historically impacting aspect of life and sexuality, gave her the footing to discuss topivs like bestiality, incest, and forced sex in an equally level and open way. I appreciate the author’s honesty in sharing some very personal dimensions of her psyche and times when she wasn’t fully prepared to deal with some aspects of BDSM scenes.

Overall, I found this book very useful. Williams gives interesting facts and bits of information on each topic that frames them in ways you may not have thought before. She offers a solid guide of self-awareness and consensual play. The only down side is the book is quite short, around 100 pages in a small trim size. But for what the text lacks in length it more than makes up for in quality and information.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels their fantasies are taboo – shameful, gross, or misunderstood. And especially to those interested in incorporating taboo into BDSM scenes. As the author points out early in the text, even in the dungeon, surrounded by whips and chains, a few topics still raise eyebrows.

This book is a fantastic introduction to taboo sexual fantasies. Though I hope to read more on the subject, I am delighted to include “The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo” by Mollena Williams in my collection.

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